“Good fences make for good neighbors”. I am not sure exactly what it means. Does it mean, you keep your kids and dogs in your yard and I’ll keep my kids and dogs in my yard? Maybe it came from the “Old West”; stay off my grazing land and I’ll stay off yours. Then again there might be a deeper meaning. In today’s terms it could be expressed as: Unless you’re invited in, stay out of my space and likewise, unless invited, I’ll stay out of yours.
When I think of a fence, I think of the one that ran along the property line between the neighbors’ house and ours. The fence was about three feet high and was constructed of spaced vertical board slats with a top railing. When the weather was good Mom and Mrs. P would often stand at the fence and talk. Both women would have one hand on the top rail of the fence while with their other hand made gestures to punctuate their words. Conversations would last from just a couple of minutes to more than thirty minutes. I never knew what they talked about. If I was in ear-shot Mom would generally say: “Donald, go find somewhere else to play, we’re talking.” Mom and Mrs. P really enjoyed the talks; they provided a break in the day. Both of their husbands were at work and there was no other adult to talk to. The fence provided an ideal location for a conversation. Many fences are good, like the one that separated our yards; others are necessary and still others are bad.
I have listened, on YouTube, to a number of diaries by German Prisoners of War (POW) who were imprisoned in the US during WWII. They all seemed to agree that their physical needs were more than met; the food was plentiful and good, sleeping quarters sheltered them from the elements and the cots were comfortable. The work, mostly farm, was easy and paid eighty cents a day. The money could be spent at the camp exchange to buy personal items: candy, soft drinks or once a week a beer. The guards were mostly good and did not give them a bad time. The hated object was the barbed wire fence that encircled and partitioned the camp. It was a constant reminder of their lack of freedom. Escape may have been fairly easy; however, life beyond the fence was full of uncertainty and the possibility of getting back to Germany was near nonexistent. It was not worth the risk and effort for most POWs.
The worst fences are those that we build in our minds. Fences that we are afraid to tear down or cross inhibit us from reaching our life’s potential. Lack of confidence and fear are the limiters. We think that we are secure in our present state even if we are not happy. The false security is like a drug; it numbs our common sense and seek it beyond reason. Life can be a great adventure if we are able to penetrate the fences of fear and doubt in our minds. There will be some failures and a few embarrassments along the way; however, the goal is more than worth it. When we become secure in ourselves, we will know the true meanings of security and happiness. We will also be able to distinguish the bad fences from the good.